Around the time that relationship started to falter, my grandmother passed away.
Her funeral happened to fall right smack in the middle of two weddings I was in.
Then, over a glass of wine with my fabulous friend Marie-Laure a few weeks ago, I explained to her that I’d been feeling off this spring. She and I were close, and she always knew that being single was something that bothered me, so it bothered her that I was bothered. When she was gone, I felt so much sadness over the fact that she’d never get to see me fall in love and get married.
It felt unfair — especially when I saw people around me hitting those milestones at the same time I was grieving. In my inability to label my issue, I’d lumped all of my emotions under the “I’m Sad Because I’m Single” umbrella, and then allowed them to run wild.
“I don’t see a situation in which I’ll ever get married,” I told my mother over the phone.