At the ER there were patients who seemed to be in perfectly good health until they encountered the big thing that killed them, like a gunshot wound or a car accident.
Our relationship wasn’t like that; it was like the 80 year old man who had heart failure and diabetes and cancer and liver issues and a hell of a lot of luck for living this long.
I’m far from perfect, but I’m not some bland blob with no personality. And also, what if we stay together and move in and get married and have kids and pay bills? All these memories I have of us being happy are from over a year ago.
Not that it matters, but the sex has always been consistently awesome between us as well. If he treats me so coldly now that we have no shared responsibilities, how will he treat me after all that? Most people would think that the issue between us is the distance, and maybe the fact that we’ve been together for 7 years. But I do also know plenty of couples who at least act like they’re still interested in each other after marriage and kids and decades together, and long distance couples who compensate for the distance by at least making sure they tell each other “I love you” once a day by text if they’re both too busy to talk. The last time he called me “beautiful” was months ago. I tell him I feel unappreciated and worthless and I can’t go on feeling like this. Is this because he’s found everything he needs up here and I’m just down in LA, an afterthought?
When I was working in the ER, we’d often treat a “last ditch effort”.
This was the patient who was, for all intents and purposes, deceased.
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