Dating after loss of spouse

ONE MARCH AFTERNOON IN 2010, I logged on to Facebook and glanced at my relationship status.My 42-year-old husband, Frank, had been dead for a month, but it still said "Married." Then, in a surreal, only-in-the-21st-century moment, I changed it to "Widowed." I hesitated, but I had to do it: No word but So, at age 39, after seven years of marriage, I was no longer married; I was a widow.

But he also helped me understand how alien and incomprehensible my situation must seem to someone who has not lived with such a loss.

I've been dating for almost two years now--some guys lasted just one date, others for months at a time.

We went out for drinks and had a great time, telling stories about our childhood and swapping anecdotes about our lives as writers.

I'd assumed that our mutual friends had told him I'd lost my husband.

Other men, once they learned of my history, avoided me altogether.

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