Perhaps the time variable was not enough for them to work through their own feelings regarding the dissolution of their parents’ marriage.Children may also feel jealous of the new stepparent.
While it is not expected that a child will fall immediately in love with their stepparent, they must know that they are not allowed to be disrespectful. It’s important to acknowledge the reason (or reasons) for the disrespectful behaviors.
You must not allow insulting or rude behaviors to become entrenched. Children may still be grieving the loss of the biological family.
To take on the trials facing your family, you must forge ahead with a united front, with the biological parent taking the lead. Expectations “Don’t worry that children never listen to you; worry that they are always watching you.” – Robert Fulghum. It does consist of active listening, being responsive, acknowledging another’s needs and plentiful amounts of compassion. Rules promote the common good and resolve disputes.
Societies exist upon rules and home is the first opportunity that parents have to introduce this concept.
Empower the kids to express themselves in appropriate ways. Children should be allowed the emotions that come naturally to them.