I'm a liar, a cheat, a user, and a manipulator—and it just keeps happening. You turned them into affairs by continuing to show up. Zooming out: If all it takes for some rando to get her hands on your otherwise committed cock is to DM you on Instagram, you have no business making monogamous commitments.
And while you claim that each of these women pursued you despite knowing you were in an exclusive relationship, it doesn't sound like you ran from any of them. " as if the universe were conspiring against you somehow. If you'd sought out a partner who wanted an open relationship—a wide-open one—you could have had concurrent, committed, nonexclusive relationships and avoided being "a liar, a cheat, a user," etc.
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And you can find a guy who wants an open and egalitarian relationship, which is what you deserve.
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You're a handsome couple—thanks for enclosing the lovely picture (sometimes it's nice to see the face of the person I'm responding to!
)—with a long history together, and here's hoping things work out.
So with your couples therapist there to mediate, tell him your marriage is either open or closed.