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If you want him out of your life and out of your head, put his crap in a bag, set it on your porch or leave it with a neutral third party, and tell him when he can swing by and get it. Making sure your mouth is empty is easy, of course, but it's not that difficult to empty or clean out an ass.

Also, a good, fiber-rich diet empties and cleans out the ass naturally.

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Even thinking about going home with someone causes me to panic. But now that I'm single, it seems like this big, scary thing.

Is it possible to get laid without feeling freaked out?

Savage Love Live at Denver's Oriental Theater last week was epic.

I fielded sex questions in front of a sold-out crowd, singer-songwriter Rachel Lark performed amazing news songs, comedian Elise Kerns absolutely killed it, and Tye—a token straight guy plucked at random from the audience—joined us onstage and gave some pretty great sex advice!

If he refuses to do his part to close the orgasm gap in your apartment, show him the door.